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Sample Issue:
HUMOR * OVEREASY* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ This Site Created for the Enjoyment of the Entire Family
Great to see you again! A big HELLO to all of our new subs!!! Sure hope you enjoy your time here....sit back, relax and enjoy!!!!! OVEREASY will be in your mailbox 5 days each week....Wednesday thru Sunday.
Put a great big smile on your face As each new day you start You will find you will walk a lighter step If there is laughter in your heart! If laughing is not your cup of tea And smiles for you are rare Read on my somber frowning friend Smiles and laughs with you I will share
~ Lee ~
__________________________________________________ COMMENTS FROM THE EDITOR __________________________________________________ it was kind of a cool and rainy day yesterday, but the rest of the holiday weekend promises to be a good one with temps in the 80's and 90's. A perfect way to end the summer!
~ Lee ~
___________________________________________________ START YOUR DAY WITH A GIGGLE ! ___________________________________________________ sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia) The United Brethren church in Parsons, Kansas was having a program, and one of the women was supposed to say, "The ass stuck his head out the window and brayed." The woman didn't want to say "ass" in church and asked if she could change the word to "donkey". The other members insisted that she call it an ass, because that's what it was called in the Bible. One person reminded her of the story about Jesus riding an ass into Jerusalem. The woman worried about her line right up until the fateful day of the program. When her turn came, she stood up in front of the congregation and said, "The donkey stuck his ass out the window and brayed."
___________________________________________________ TOON TIME ! !
Be Careful What You Wish For http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20000830 "> Click Here ___________________________________________________
SOMETHING SPECIAL TO SHARE ___________________________________________________
AMBER ALERT visit this link: http://www.codeamber.org "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Animal Rescue Site Please tell ten friends (or more) to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Breast Cancer site The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "Fund Free Mammograms" for free (pink window in the middle). (There is nothing to sign up for and no cost to you.) The corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate a mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the website - Pass it along to all your friends!! http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Thank You For Helping Me http://www.positivethoughts.com/202pt.htm "> Click Here
Goodnight, God http://www.positivethoughts.com/goodnightgod.htm "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> You'd Shine the Brightest http://www.funnies.com/Starfield3D.htm "> Click Here
Friends Like You Are Hard To Find http://www.funnies.com/hardtofind.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Once in a While http://www.joygreetings.com/once.shtml "> Click Here
My Wonderful FriendThe More You Give http://www.joygreetings.com/moregive.shtml "> Click Here
The More You Give http://www.joygreetings.com/moregive.shtml "> Click Here
Inspiring Thoughts http://www.joygreetings.com/inspiringthoughts.shtml "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by Michele (thank you) On this day in 1774 Betsy Ross asked a group of colonists for their opinion of the flag she had made; thus creating the first flag poll.
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> History of Grandparent's Day http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Forest/5675/gramhistory.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Beach Baby http://www.cutefunnyanimals.com/beachbaby.shtml "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia)
I was very pregnant, and it was rotten luck when, several days before my due date, my husband fell from the porch roof, sprained both ankles and was restricted to crutches. So when I went into labor and he couldn't drive, I took the wheel, stopping every time I had a contraction.
Finally, we got to the hospital. I dropped him at the maternity entrace, and he hobbled off to the admitting desk, where the nurse told him to go to the emergency room.
No, it's my wife," he told her. "She's in Labor."
"Where is she?" the nurse asked.
"She's parking the car and bringing in the bags."
[Thanks to Reader's Digest.]
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by cookie62 (thank you)
Check out this really cool picture...It has probably been altered but cool anyway. http://soloshideaway.home.att.net/443/maiden_rock.htm "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Woodmobile http://www.wowfunny.com/pic.shtml?3429.jpg "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Happy Grandparent's Day http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRgrandparent.htm "> Click Here
Kids on Elections http://www.dobhran.com/humor/GRhumor94.htm "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by cookie62 (thank you)
People are like trees. Some are destined to be pillars, others are destined to be toilet paper.
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Stop monkeying around and love me!! http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny550.html "> Click Here
Do you have valuables to clean? http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny555.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Rock-n-Roll Cat I'm one rocking cat! Wanna hear my guitar solo? YEAH! http://insanehumor.com/cgi-bin/clk.cgi?dl=1519 "> Click Here
The Little Engine That Couldn't Try as it might, this little engine simply couldn't do it... http://insanehumor.com/cgi-bin/clk.cgi?dl=1542 "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Cool Cat http://www.clublaugh.com/item.php?id=120 "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Love Will Keep Us Together http://www.wow-animals.com/pic.shtml?3596.jpg "> Click Here
flying jaws of death http://www.wow-animals.com/pet.shtml?1363.jpg "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Sparky http://www.goofyhumor.com/ggcartoons/?car=90.gif "> Click Here
Team http://www.loonyhumor.com/jkcartoons/?car=343.jpg "> Click Here
Pontius Pirate In Rome http://www.goofyhumor.com/maccartoons/?car=pontiuspirate- in-Rome2.jpg "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Dwell In The Positive http://www.00fun.com/dwellonthepositive.shtml "> Click Here
The Friend Ship http://www.00fun.com/friendship217.shtml "> Click Here
At Your Side http://www.00fun.com/1942.msp "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Trivia Time
The main character in which cartoon had a niece named Penny? A. Inspector Gadget B. Johnny Bravo C. Tex Avery D. Yogi Bear
send your answers to humorovereasy@hotmail.com
yesterday's trivia was: Who recorded the following song title? Never Been Kissed
the correct answer was C. Sherrie Austin
congratulations to: Marie Kathy G. Freida
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> My dad bought my mom a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said my dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" I asked. "Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing...."
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia)
this is a VERY neat site, esp. the radar...see Frances up close & personal... Active Tropical Systems http://www.intellicast.com/Local/USNationalWide.asp? loc=usa&seg=LocalWeather&prodgrp=RadarImagery&product=RadarLoop&prodn av=none "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia)
youngins ain't gonna believe it, but cigarette smoking was encouraged thru ads...even Santa got into the act in the '40s... Old Cigarette Ads http://www.chickenhead.com/truth/index.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Farmers Almanac - Full Moon Names http://www.farmersalmanac.com/astronomy/fullmoonnames.html "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> An Angel Is What I'd Be http://www.joygreetings.com/angel.shtml "> Click Here
_____________________________________________________ OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES _____________________________________________________ sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia)
"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire.' " Everyone but Philip, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" "I'm waiting for my secretary," he replied.
_____________________________________________________ COFFEE SHOPPE ENJOY!! _____________________________________________________ sent in by k9keeper (thanks, Jane) A Faithful Dog Will Play With You And Laugh With You -Or Cry- He'll Gladly Starve To Stay With You Nor Ever Reason Why,
And When You're Feeling Out Of Sorts Somehow He'll Understand He'll Watch You With His Shining Eyes And Try To Lick Your Hand.
His Blind, Implicit Faith In You Is Matched By His Great Love - The Kind That All Of Us Should Have In The Master, Up Above.
When Everything Is Said And Done I Guess This Isn't Odd For When You Spell "Dog" Backwards You Get The Name Of God. author unknown
_____________________________________________________ We have had many submission to the recipe book. Thanks to everyone who has contributed and if you'd like to add to it, just send me your favorite recipe.
Here is the link: http://sunnysworld.homestead.com/HOEsHolidayRecipes.html "> Click Here *UPDATED* <><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><>
Help make HumorOverEasy grow Please take a moment to throw a vote in for HOE, thanx ! !
Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=humoro "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> For comments,submissions,suggestions and questions please drop me a line at the following addy. (I'll get back to you as soon as I can.)
~Lee~
mailto:humorovereasy@hotmail.com
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Did a friend send this page to you?? Why not join *OverEasy* and enjoy every issue ! ! To Subscribe - - send a blank mail to: HumorOverEasy1-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Check out our special *ATTACHMENTS* page To Subscribe - - send a blank mail to: HumorOverEasyAttachments-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
_____________________________________________________ sent in by cookie62 (thank you)
I thought my Boss was an idiot, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss is an idiot, too ... but at least I respect him. _____________________________________________________ sent in by Betty Boop (thanks, Betty)
"Warning Signs of Insanity"
You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.
You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbor for setting fire to his lawn decorations.
Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.
You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.
You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
You collect dead windowsill flies.
You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island, because they weren't rescued.
You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
Whenever you listen to the radio, the music sounds backwards.
You wake up each morning and find yourself sitting on your head in the middle of your front lawn.
Melba toast excites you.
You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.
You call up random people and ask if you can borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.
You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.
You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.
_____________________________________________________ DID YOU KNOW? _____________________________________________________ sent in by BettyBoop (thanks, Betty)
The "snood" is the fleshy projection just above the bill on a turkey.
Famed British writer Ben Jonson (1573-1637) was buried upright in Westminster Abbey's Poet's Corner because he died in debt and couldn't afford a proper gravesite.
A chameleon's tongue is twice the length of its body.
A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.
At 188 decibels, the whistle of the blue whale is the loudest sound produced by any animal.
Portugal is the world's largest producer of cork. The country has regulations protecting cork trees dating back to 1320. During the 1920's and 30's, it became illegal to cut down the trees other than for essential thinning and removal of old non-producing trees.
There are 63,360 inches in a mile.
_____________________________________________________ QUOTES _____________________________________________________ sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia) "Do not ask to walk smooth paths nor bear an easy load. Pray for strength and fortitude to climb the rock-strewn road. Give me such courage and I can scale the hardest peaks alone, and transform every stumbling block into a stepping stone." -Gale Brook Burket
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grand- father. -- Jackie Mason
I knew these Siamese twins. They moved to England so the other one could drive. -- Steven Wright _____________________________________________________ SHE WAS SO BLONDE _____________________________________________________ sent in by cookie62 (thank you)
Just How Blonde Was She? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
She thought a quarterback was a refund. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. At the bottom of an application where it says "sign here," she wrote "Sagittarius."
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept. She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... She tripped over a cordless phone. She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... She studied for a blood test. She thought she needed a token to get on "Soul Train." She sold the car for gas money. When she missed the #44 bus, she took the #22 bus twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company. She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. And last but certainly not least......... She had a tee-shirt that said, "TGIF," which she thought stood for... "This Goes In Front."
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Join me at OverEasy's archives. New subs will enjoy previous pages, regular subs may find a link they wanted to save. Take a stroll back and enjoy ! ! ! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HumorOverEasy/messages This is an OPT- IN Mailing List.
If you are receiving this mailing it means that YOU have requested it be sent to you. THIS MAILING IS NEVER SENT UNSOLICITED. To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to: humorovereasy@hotmail.com
Please be sure to include "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject section
_____________________________________________________ CLEAN FAMILY HUMOR _____________________________________________________ You Are A Bad Cook If...
- The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire
- Your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
- You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your family and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
- Your homemade bread can be used as a door stop.
- The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
- Those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy Christmas cookies.
- You forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heat- and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better.
- You hate rice, but you keep finding it floating around in your beef stew.
- Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.
- The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.
- You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
- You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.
- Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
- Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.
- When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
- Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
- Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
- Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.
- You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
- You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.
_____________________________________________________
SUBSCRIBER COMMENTS _____________________________________________________ sent in by skulkingdawg (thanks, Patricia)
Sausage-Stuffed Jalapenos 1 pound bulk pork sausage 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, softened 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded Parmesan cheese 22 large jalapeno peppers, halved lengthwise and seeded* Ranch Dressing (optional)
In a large skillet, cook the sausage over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. In a small mixing bowl, mix the cream cheese and Parmesan cheese; fold into sausage. Spoon about 1 Tablespoon into each jalapeno half. Place in 2 ungreased 13-in.X9-in.X2-in. baking dishes. Bake, uncovered, at 425ยบ for 15-20 minutes or until filling is lightly browned and bubbly. Serve with Ranch Dressing if desired. Yield: 44 appetizers
*Be sure to wear rubber or plastic gloves when seeding the jalapenos.
that sounds like a really yummy recipe. I'll have to try it! ~ Lee
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><>
No politician or scholar assured your freedoms. A SOLDIER did!
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Folks, I have certainly enjoyed our time together. I hope I leave you with a smile on your face and giggles that will last the whole day through ! ! ! ****** Life is a journey, not a destination. ****** Keep Smilin!!!
~ Lee ~
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Help Out Abused and Negleted Animals Hi, all you animal lovers. This is pretty simple. Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free. This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/cgi- bin/WebObjects/CTDSites.woa "> Click Here
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Click below to view The Hunger Site's new e-card, and read on for more info about how a simple click helps feed the hungry -- at no cost to you.
Visit The Hunger Site (http://www.thehungersite.com/home) and click the "Give Free Food" button (once a day per person). This simple action gives more than a cup of food to a hungry person.
It costs you nothing. Funding is paid by site sponsors and benefits two leading, nonprofit hunger relief organizations.
The number of people clicking directly determines the amount of food that goes to the hungry, so please forward the message along.
WHY CLICK?
There is enough food in the world for every man, woman and child. Yet an estimated one billion of the world's people live in poverty and face chronic hunger. 24,000 die daily. 75% of them are children under age five.
Clicking costs nothing but a few seconds of your time, and gives help and hope to a person in desperate need.
Click here to give free food: http://www.thehungersite.com/home
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Hi folks!
Just a few tips before you open this link: Depending on your puter, it may take a lil bit to download. Please be patient, the download time isn't a fraction of the time it took to put this together.. LOL..
Let the page fully load so you will enjoy it as we hope you will. Don't run through the pages, there are hidden little *funnies* here and there, just put your cursor over the pics, you will see them.
Now without further ado:
Humor Over Easy's Index Page Easier naviagation in the scrapbook and all other pages. (UPDATED) http://sunnysworld.homestead.com/HOEscrapbookINDEX.html "> Click Here
ATTENTION !!! (please?)
We will be adding a new page(s) to HOE's scrapbook;
*HOE's Family Album*.
I can't be the only proud parent out there. C'mon folks, lets' make this scrapbook a success. I'll bet some of you have precious grandchildren you'd like to share with other HOE subscribers.
This is as safe a link as possible folks, only access to it is through HOE's page.
We had such a wonderful response over the past holiday season, lets' make our scrapbook grow.
I'm sure you have some great family pics taken this summer, last spring.. winter? LOL.. we need to add to our scrapbook.
I'll bet we even have some new babies out there.. now, you gotta share a new baby.
Remember, we would all like to read funny stories about your little ones, your hubby, your wife.. any stories you'd like to share.
Thanks so much,
Lee (please don't make me beg.. )
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><>
I assume the content to be in the public domain, and every effort is taken not to use copywrited material when the author is known I will give credit, otherwise I give credit to the listmember who sent it....... OverEasy assumes no responsibility for unknowingly publishing copyrighted material
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Love to cook? Love to laugh? Join us at A to Z Recipes! We offer a complete menu PLUS many reader recipe submissions in each issue. From cooking Acorn squash to Zucchini, join us at A to Z Recipes! To subscribe, send a blank email to: 62028-subscribe@zinester.com
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> View some Clean Toons and say "hi" to Moi Miss Piggy To subscribe, send a blank email to: cleantoons- subscribe@Jokeworm.com
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> DO YOU LIKE RECIPES? LIKE CRITTERS? Good Fixins comes to you 5 days a week with a yummy recipe, a food fact, and for fun there's the CRITTER CORNER where we share our favorite stories about our four-legged friends. Chocolate lovers will enjoy our weekly indulgence in a heavenly chocolate recipe. Join our family today and see what you've been missing! Visit http://www.goodfixins.com today!
<><><><><<><><><>>>>>><<<<<><><<><><><><><><><> Do you like clean humor? Then you will love Dave's Daily. A daily dose of mirth in your e-mail. To subscribe check out the form at http://www.smilesunlimited.net or send a blank e-mail to daves-daily-subscribe@topica.com
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